Bead auras?

I’ve heard talk of yarn “accidents” – of people going into a yarn shop for a darning needle, and getting home with 3 huge bags of yarn (and no darning needle) that they can’t really remember buying.  They blame it on “yarn fumes” and talk about the intoxicating effects.

I’ve had several “bead accidents” in the past, sometimes I pull something out of the stash and have no idea when I got it.  Sometimes I pull something out and wonder what on earth I was thinking when I bought it.  Once I even wondered why someone would bother to dig up a rock that ugly and polish it on purpose.  (And before you ask, yes, I still have it.  I find it nearly impossible to get rid of any bead that’s not been made into something.)

So the other day I walked around the Artful Bead looking for some signs of bead fumes.  I picked up a tray and started wandering.  Ooo! Nice onyx!  And some beautiful agate!  And look at that fabulous brass toggle!  And… wait.  How is this tray so full?  I mean, the bottom of it is completely covered up!  How did those get there?  I see no sign of bead fumes anywhere in here, all I smell is chocolate.  (Before I forget – have you seen the new Cherry M&M’s??  Wheeeeeee!)

OK, can’t be actual fumes.  Oh, new Swarovski colors!!!  How pretty…  Now the tray is so heavy I have to hold it in both hands.  What the heck?  How did all those beads get down from the wall and climb on my tray?  Awww… look how pretty that coral looks next to that jade…

When I get home, I start putting my new goodies away.  Soon after I start (it seems), I hear “are we eating tonight?” and realize it’s been two hours.  I’ve been sitting on the floor fondling beads for 2 hours.  But they’re nicely arranged, and nobody is getting scratched.  And those two strands are absolutely wonderful together, where are those copper spacers?  Huh!?  Dinner?  Oops, sorry, right.

Ah-HA!!  It’s not fumes, it’s some kind of electro-magnetic field that beads emit!  When you get a large enough concentration of beads, all the frequencies harmonize. If you’re susceptible, you fall into a light hypnotic trance, and pick up any beads that “speak to you” without conscious thought.  I wonder if anyone can actually see their auras?  Should we hire some of the Ghostbuster type people to see if they can track down the energy they emit?

Please tell me I’m not the only one affected by beads this way.

4 comments on “Bead auras?

  • LollyChops says:

    You mean it happens to you too !?!?! I am convinced it’s the chocolate. I think Mary puts something in it that creates the “bead fumes” effect.. or is it something else? I have to make a concious decision when I walk in the door. Big titanic sized tray or smaller row boat sized tray.. decisions decisions. I usually go for the row boat.. it’s safer.

  • I’d like to blame it on the chocolate, but I have the same problem even in places that have 18 packets of seed beads (if they’re the right colors), never when surrounded by M&M’s or Godiva!

  • Poor pitiful me. I have both the knitting and now the beading accidents. My craft room/studio/used to be a bedroom, is bulging with yarn projects I couldn’t resist,now it’s sparkling and shimmering with beads. Do you think my dog would eat them if beads were lying around nestled in cups or saucers? Anyway, you single-maniacs should really take pity on the folie a deux of us around here. And last night, I picked up an embroidery kit to learn to embroider flowers on a sweater I just knitted, so I could bead them! Help

  • Sorry, Susan. No help here. Restraint is impossible.

    Dogs don’t always eat beads, but they can cause havoc with tails. Cats just try to steal all beads and yarn at my house, since it is their understanding that everything on the planet is really just another cat toy. Some are more interactive than others. (Did you know that Swarovski Rivolis skitter nicely when swatted across a tile floor!? And that it makes otherwise sedentary people run screaming?!? That was a recent discovery.)


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